29 Secrets

Congratulations! You’re getting married.

Your wedding day is bound to be one of the most wonderful days of your life, and by now you’re probably knee-deep in plans, plans, and more wedding plans.

But before you walk down that aisle, take a step back and ask yourself a few questions. It could save you a lot of heartache later on!

1. Why do you want to get married?

It seems like a simple enough question, but really examine what comes to mind. Sure, you’re marrying him because he loves you and you love him—obviously—but are there other reasons? Are you afraid of losing him? Are you afraid to be alone? Are you trying to escape something—will getting married offer you a chance to stop working, move out of your current apartment, or some other opportunity?

If there are underlying reasons behind your desire to say “I do,” you should think carefully about getting married.

2. Where will you live?

This question isn’t just about you moving into his place or vice versa. Will you buy or rent? Do you want to stay where you are now or move somewhere completely different? It would be a shame to discover, after you get married, that you thought you would always live in your hometown on the East coast, whereas he has always dreamed of living in Vancouver.

3. What do you argue about?

This is a big question. All couples fight, whether it’s about leaving the toilet seat up or the cap off the toothpaste.

But if you fight seriously about money issues, his (or your) drinking habits, or you hate all of his friends, this could be a real problem.

4. Sex.

Seriously. Do you agree on how much, where and when? Is he okay on the nights you “have a headache?” Are you okay when he does? A healthy sexual relationship is a big part of a good marriage, and you should have an understanding of what each other needs (and wants).

The time to find out that he has always wanted to be a swinger is before you get married, not after.

5. Do you both want children and if so, how many?

After you have kids, do you want to go back to work or not and does he know about this and agree with you? Again, you need to know if he has always wanted eight or more children before you get married, especially if you really don’t want any!