When It Comes to Relationships, Are You Too Nice?

When It Comes to Relationships, Are You Too Nice?

Ways to stand your ground
Comments (4)

Most women want to be the loving, considerate girlfriend. And that's a good thing, as long as it doesn't mean that you're always putting your guy first. The truth is, when it comes to relationships, many women let their own priorties take a backseat to those of the guys they love.

But guys appreciate a girl who can stand her ground. That's where a little 'bitchy' behaviour can do a world of good. To be clear, we are not saying that being bitchy gives you license to be rude or hurtful, but 'bitches' always demand respect – and they get it. And that's where we can all learn a thing or two.

First things first:
Ditch the cob-webby notions that 'bitch' is a bad word and stow away that 'nice girl' attitude. It's not a bad word. Your blueprint awaits:

Have an opinion
The nice girl will completely agree with her boyfriend on everything from who should be the next mayor to who should win Battle of the Blades. And the nice girl might think Family Guy is misogynistic but watches it with him anyway. YAWN! A bitch knows her guy wouldn’t break it off just because they have differing opinions on who was the best Batman (although if he says Kilmer, you’re better off without him). If he wants to stay in again and you want to go out… the bitch would go! You won’t believe how quickly he’ll throw his party clothes on next time knowing the consequence is being left out of a good time.

Implement your zero tolerance policy
Men can't help it, they are hardwired to push the limits. Your guy needs to know where you draw the line, so make it clear: Bitches expect timely calls and texts, and not at 2am. Bitches will not be ignored all night at the bar and still share a cab home. Bitches never tolerate guys disrespecting them in public or private, and any violation of said terms means immediate breakup. Just #kanyeshrug and on to the next!

Don't rearrange your life, just pencil him in
A bitch’s life is absolutely jam-packed with work, friends, family, her co-ed recreational dodge ball league, hot yoga, and cerebral pursuits like her Friday night pub trivia team. It's a delicate scheduling balance that has taken much coordination and trial & error to perfect (exhibit A: the disastrous hip-hop pole-dancing experiment of ‘09). Of course when you meet a new guy you will be tempted to make yourself as available as possible, but resist the urge and channel that inner bitch! If he wants to see you, he can work around your schedule, not vice-versa. Set the tone right away and let him know that your priorities lie with the people a commitments who have been in your life for longer than a couple of weeks.

Wear what YOU like
So your guy is full of unsolicited opinions on your outfits, your hair, and your makeup. Well, unless he is a clothing designer, professional hair stylist or makeup artist, thank him for his input and do exactly what a bitch would: Do not change a thing. He is testing your limits to see how far you will go to please him. So what if he prefers long hair and can't stand your nose ring. If your platinum pixie and diamond nose stud make you feel sexy and confident, that’s all that matters.

 
 

Comments

Anonymous's picture

Thanks for posting this article, I'm waaay too nice to my boyfriend, I'm finally realising I'm not the greatest person to be around, letting myself get walked all over so much. I'm standing my ground much better now, I still get really scared that if I stand up for myself he'll either just continue arguing with me and it never stops, and he might not call me for a long time. We don't see eachother very much as it is, or I'm scared of him just leaving. The last thing that pissed me off and I'm definitely standing my ground for is he was supposed to call me back one night but after a while of waiting I called him and asked why he didn't call me back, and all he replied was, "you know me, I forgot" so he's definitely trying to see how far he can push it and he thinks I'm never going to speak up for myself but believe me I'm not letting him talk to me like that. He says he's gonna call but "forgets" all the time I guess, either if he's supposed to call just to talk or we're in the middle of making plans.
Do you have an actual email I can send questions to when I need advice?

Anonymous's picture

First, I have no problem with an opinionated woman, but if she cannot admit she is wrong when all the evidence is against her, she will not have many successful relationships.
Second, if the woman is not supposed to modify her schedule for the man, are you suggesting the man is supposed to modify his schedule for the woman? That sounds like a double standard.
It is one thing for a woman to be assertive, but this sounds more like a woman who is looking for a fight.

Anonymous's picture

Thanks for posting this article, I'm waaay too nice to my boyfriend, I'm finally realising I'm not the greatest person to be around, letting myself get walked all over so much. I'm standing my ground much better now, I still get really scared that if I stand up for myself he'll either just continue arguing with me and it never stops, and he might not call me for a long time. We don't see eachother very much as it is, or I'm scared of him just leaving. The last thing that pissed me off and I'm definitely standing my ground for is he was supposed to call me back one night but after a while of waiting I called him and asked why he didn't call me back, and all he replied was, "you know me, I forgot" so he's definitely trying to see how far he can push it and he thinks I'm never going to speak up for myself but believe me I'm not letting him talk to me like that. He says he's gonna call but "forgets" all the time I guess, either if he's supposed to call just to talk or we're in the middle of making plans.
Do you have an actual email I can send questions to when I need advice?

Anonymous's picture

First, I have no problem with an opinionated woman, but if she cannot admit she is wrong when all the evidence is against her, she will not have many successful relationships.
Second, if the woman is not supposed to modify her schedule for the man, are you suggesting the man is supposed to modify his schedule for the woman? That sounds like a double standard.
It is one thing for a woman to be assertive, but this sounds more like a woman who is looking for a fight.

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