When To Call It Quits

When To Call It Quits

Not sure if you should stay or go? We’ll help you decide
Comments (17)

Not every relationship is The Relationship. Sometimes, with some guys, things just grind to a halt. Maybe your good feelings have evaporated. Maybe you never felt strongly to begin with.

Every couple has days where they just don’t think it’s going to work out, but that’s different from a relationship that has reached its natural end. Here’s how to tell for sure.

It’s not mutual.
Do you ever get the feeling that one of you cares more? Way more? This can work either way: is he nuts about you, but you’re kind of neutal? Or are you madly in love with him and somehow sense he doesn’t quite return the feeling? This is a sure sign it’s time to call it quits.

You’re looking for a replacement (or he is).
If either one of you is still on the lookout for something better, it may be time to call it quits. When one of you has one foot out the door, there’s no point in prolonging the inevitable.

Everything about him irritates you.
No one’s perfect, not even you, beautiful. But love is about learning to live with his faults. If every little thing he does seems to be working your last nerve – the way he says hello, the fact that he calls you babe, that relentless gum chewing, and does he have to wait so long to hit the brake? – these may be signs that it’s over.

Stop gritting your teeth – you’re not getting any awards for sticking it out.

You don’t respect him.
If you just don’t feel respect for him as a person, it’s probably time to say goodbye. If your feelings for him have evolved into apathy or pity, that’s a definitely bad sign.

The good outweighs the bad. Only you can decide this one: if the majority of your time together is negative – you’re fighting, you’re avoiding him, you’re silently cursing him –it may be time to let him go. Your relationship should make you happy – it should be a respite from the cruel world.

When you feel that most of your time together isn’t ending well, it’s time to end it for good.

There are real red flags.
If your guy is abusive – whether verbally, physically or emotionally – if he uses drugs, or if he is a heavy drinker, call it quits. Now. No one deserves a guy like this – and least of all a great girl like you.

What's the ultimate relationship deal-breaker for you? We'd love to know!

 
 

Comments

Anonymous's picture

I recently broke up with a guy, we had a good relationship until he started lying about using drugs. The lies and how it made me feel...like a crazy person just destroyed us. Alot of people say using weed isn't that bad, but it tore us apart.

Anonymous's picture

Why do women need so much hand holding. There seems to be a support group for every issue women face. You are the weaker gender, without doubt.

Anonymous's picture

question..?? when you meet a guy off an on line dating site and you both chose to not renew your membership to see where it goes with you both together..and then he asks you to marry him, 3 months later, and you say yes......is it not a good time then to let the others you may have been talking to off the site thorugh msn or e-mail that you have found soemone special and and feel to continue a friendship is not senseable....???
the man i meet is wonderful, we have feel in love, we have a deeep connection, we talk everyday...morning and at nights rest...!!!
in 3 months he has at me to be with for life....and I said yes.....but the very next day on messenger he had accepted a friendship request of a lady, when i asked him how long has he known her as i noticed she is not local....he said i accepted but didn't know where i known her from right away...thought perhapes she was from the site and conversed before...this was baffling to I asa I would figure if you don't know her why would you now then want to beome friends to some you do not know....meaning you would then be learning of us both together....this is not a shared friendship an dwe have been together for 4 months into her arriveing.....need some outside opinion..here please...LOL...

Anonymous's picture

I met a guy on line; were wonderful for 4 months; living together; he told me that he wasn't in love with me and didn't know WHEN of if he would be. Now there is tension between us as health issues have made it hard for me to work; he has told me that until I am able to work give 50 - 50 there IS going to be issues between us. Is this a sign I should let him go?

Anonymous's picture

Isn't it sad that we can immediately recognize 'an old married couple' at all? The nightmare is pretending everything is okay and not speaking up about it or doing something to change it. There is nothing gained by staying because of girlfriend'ly or sweet smiling motherly advice. I am deeply in love and loved. I would be hurled into a nightmare if I learned that there had been any faking going on.

Anonymous's picture

You seem to be the pot calling the kettle black here. Is there are real difference between you talking to different men online the over the duration of your current relationship, and him talking to another woman now? If you had been keeping a relationship with other men--albeit virtual, before you even consider how the "new-girl" makes you feel, you may want to reflect on how you feel.
When preparing for monogamous relationship (till death do us part), we tend to not keep other men waiting in the sidelines, incase the current hunk doesn't pan out.
I recommend you take a long look in the mirror and ask yourself: is HE the man YOU want? If so, tell him! Yell it from the rooftops, let the others go, and be happy! If not, you may need to re-evaluate your situation. Secrets are not a good foundation for a relationship, so be honest with him and yourself--your happiness deserves the honesty.

Anonymous's picture

I am currently in the same situation. You aren't a "crazy person", even if you feel like it. You are a person with strong morals and a sense of what is right. Drugs are illegal and lying about doing them is just plain wrong. The problem I face is that I am in love with him and he is with me, but I can't live with the thought of having a person in my life who is dependant on an illegal substance. I heard the old song and dance about weed being "different (from other drugs) and not that bad", but in my mind it is one in the same. I hope I have the stength you had to end this bad relationship.

Anonymous's picture

I have a friend who he was engaged with me and married someone else. I had known him for 30th years and he still married but refused to get divorce. He keeps trying to make me feel like the other person. But, I refuse to accept the fact that he want to have both. So, I confronted to his wife. I want her to know about the situation, I was in love with him for long time. Every year, he will find a way to visit me during his military duty to see me. I am tired of being treated the same person. I have being waited for long time for him to get divorce. He always been a great person except for being married to the women. I have finally set to the point that I will never be with him. As, now, he is so angry with me, because, he wanna make me feel happy. I had known that he being selfish and his conscious going to keep bothering him. He can not stay with his wife, because, she always fussing and yelling. I told him to do what it best or to be with me, you have to be divorce. Did I do the right thing?

Anonymous's picture

I recently broke up with a guy, we had a good relationship until he started lying about using drugs. The lies and how it made me feel...like a crazy person just destroyed us. Alot of people say using weed isn't that bad, but it tore us apart.

Anonymous's picture

Why do women need so much hand holding. There seems to be a support group for every issue women face. You are the weaker gender, without doubt.

Anonymous's picture

question..?? when you meet a guy off an on line dating site and you both chose to not renew your membership to see where it goes with you both together..and then he asks you to marry him, 3 months later, and you say yes......is it not a good time then to let the others you may have been talking to off the site thorugh msn or e-mail that you have found soemone special and and feel to continue a friendship is not senseable....???
the man i meet is wonderful, we have feel in love, we have a deeep connection, we talk everyday...morning and at nights rest...!!!
in 3 months he has at me to be with for life....and I said yes.....but the very next day on messenger he had accepted a friendship request of a lady, when i asked him how long has he known her as i noticed she is not local....he said i accepted but didn't know where i known her from right away...thought perhapes she was from the site and conversed before...this was baffling to I asa I would figure if you don't know her why would you now then want to beome friends to some you do not know....meaning you would then be learning of us both together....this is not a shared friendship an dwe have been together for 4 months into her arriveing.....need some outside opinion..here please...LOL...

Anonymous's picture

I met a guy on line; were wonderful for 4 months; living together; he told me that he wasn't in love with me and didn't know WHEN of if he would be. Now there is tension between us as health issues have made it hard for me to work; he has told me that until I am able to work give 50 - 50 there IS going to be issues between us. Is this a sign I should let him go?

Anonymous's picture

Isn't it sad that we can immediately recognize 'an old married couple' at all? The nightmare is pretending everything is okay and not speaking up about it or doing something to change it. There is nothing gained by staying because of girlfriend'ly or sweet smiling motherly advice. I am deeply in love and loved. I would be hurled into a nightmare if I learned that there had been any faking going on.

Anonymous's picture

You seem to be the pot calling the kettle black here. Is there are real difference between you talking to different men online the over the duration of your current relationship, and him talking to another woman now? If you had been keeping a relationship with other men--albeit virtual, before you even consider how the "new-girl" makes you feel, you may want to reflect on how you feel.
When preparing for monogamous relationship (till death do us part), we tend to not keep other men waiting in the sidelines, incase the current hunk doesn't pan out.
I recommend you take a long look in the mirror and ask yourself: is HE the man YOU want? If so, tell him! Yell it from the rooftops, let the others go, and be happy! If not, you may need to re-evaluate your situation. Secrets are not a good foundation for a relationship, so be honest with him and yourself--your happiness deserves the honesty.

Anonymous's picture

I am currently in the same situation. You aren't a "crazy person", even if you feel like it. You are a person with strong morals and a sense of what is right. Drugs are illegal and lying about doing them is just plain wrong. The problem I face is that I am in love with him and he is with me, but I can't live with the thought of having a person in my life who is dependant on an illegal substance. I heard the old song and dance about weed being "different (from other drugs) and not that bad", but in my mind it is one in the same. I hope I have the stength you had to end this bad relationship.

Anonymous's picture

I have a friend who he was engaged with me and married someone else. I had known him for 30th years and he still married but refused to get divorce. He keeps trying to make me feel like the other person. But, I refuse to accept the fact that he want to have both. So, I confronted to his wife. I want her to know about the situation, I was in love with him for long time. Every year, he will find a way to visit me during his military duty to see me. I am tired of being treated the same person. I have being waited for long time for him to get divorce. He always been a great person except for being married to the women. I have finally set to the point that I will never be with him. As, now, he is so angry with me, because, he wanna make me feel happy. I had known that he being selfish and his conscious going to keep bothering him. He can not stay with his wife, because, she always fussing and yelling. I told him to do what it best or to be with me, you have to be divorce. Did I do the right thing?

Anonymous's picture

Dude we are NOT the weaker gender! We just care a lot about our guys' feelings. We give birth and I bet ur sweet lil behind a man couldn't do it.

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