Things Bitches Do That Men Love

Things Bitches Do That Men Love

If women love jerks, what about the other side of the coin?
Comments (14)

Why does it seem like all the really nice guys are dating bee-otches? Because they are!  But not your traditional Rachel McAdams in Mean Girls bitch, this is the 2010 bitch re-boot guaranteed to completely change the way men treat you.

First things first: ditch the cob-webby notions that 'bitch' is a bad word, and stow away that 'nice girl' attitude. If we could wave a magic wand and turn you into a Jennifer (sob!) Aniston or Kate (schwing!) Hudson, who would you rather be? And let's not forget when prickly Kristin Cavalleri returned to The Hills last season her tagline was: "The Bitch is Back." Your bitchy blueprint awaits:

Have an opinion
The nice girl will completely agree with her boyfriend on everything from who should be the next mayor to who should win Battle of the Blades. And the nice girl might think Family Guy is misogynistic but watches it with him anyway. YAWN! A bitch knows her guy wouldn’t break it off just because they have differing opinions on who was the best Batman (although if he says Kilmer, you’re better off without him). If he wants to stay in again and you want to go out… the bitch would go! You won’t believe how quickly he’ll throw his party clothes on next time knowing the consequence is being left out of a good time.

Stay-strong bitch theme song:  Beyoncé & Gaga's ode to hanging up - 'Telephone'

Implement your zero tolerance policy
Men can't help it, they are hardwired to push the limits. Your guy needs to know where you draw the line, so make it clear: Bitches expect timely calls and texts, and not at 2am. Bitches will not be ignored all night at the bar and still share a cab home. Bitches never tolerate guys disrespecting them in public or private, and any violation of said terms means immediate breakup. Just #kanyeshrug and on to the next!

Stay-strong bitch theme song: Cee-Lo Green's catchy NSFW confidence booster - 'F*** You'

Don't rearrange your life, just pencil him in
A bitch’s life is absolutely jam-packed with work, friends, family, her co-ed recreational dodge ball league, hot yoga, and cerebral pursuits like her Friday night pub trivia team. It's a delicate scheduling balance that has taken much coordination and trial & error to perfect (exhibit A: the disastrous hip-hop pole-dancing experiment of ‘09). Of course when you meet a new guy you will be tempted to make yourself as available as possible, but resist the urge and channel that inner bitch! If he wants to see you, he can work around your schedule, not vice-versa. Set the tone right away and let him know that your priorities lie with the people a commitments who have been in your life for longer than a couple of weeks.

Stay-strong bitch theme song:  Kelly Clarkson's irresistible singalong anthem - 'Miss Independent'

Wear what YOU like
So your guy is full of unsolicited opinions on your outfits, your hair, and your makeup. Well, unless he is a clothing designer, professional hair stylist or makeup artist, thank him for his input and do exactly what a bitch would: Do not change a thing. He is testing your limits to see how far you will go to please him. So what if he prefers long hair and can't stand your nose ring. If your platinum pixie and diamond nose stud make you feel sexy and confident, that’s all that matters.

Stay-strong bitch theme song: David Guetta f. Akon tell it like it is - 'Sexy B*tch'

 
 

Comments

Anonymous's picture

If you think that guys go for this kind, of stuff you are crazy. A supermodel/yoga instructor maybe - not real world women. An even then, they are "putting up with it" because they are getting their selfish needs fulfilled and the relationship is shallow and pathetic. My advice, be a nice girl (not a bitch) if you want a long term relationship (not a fling with a jerk).

Anonymous's picture

I think this is the most ridiculous article I've read on this site. I know it's all hip for women to want to be called Diva or Goddess or apparently now Bitch, but personally I think it's ludicrous.
I'm a woman, simple as that. It is beyond me why anyone would call intelligence, self-confidence, independence, and self-respect being a bitch.
It's how you use those qualities that determine the kind of person you are. On the surface the above advice sounds like a no brainer but from the picture used with it and the tone of the article it's encouraging women to not just embody the attributes I've noted above but to go about it with a big chip on your shoulder, like you're somehow owed something.
This constant 'battle of the sexes' is really tiring. Putting down, or advocating the disrespect of the opposite sex to make your half of the species feel superior is idiotic. And if you think that as women you're just leveling the playing field after years of not being equal, you're not. Treating people poorly is bad form no matter what's between your legs.
You don't have to be weak and wishy washy to be a nice person, and you don't have to walk all over people to get some respect. You get out of something what you put into it.
If you're being a bitch to your man, don't be surprised if he's an ass to you. You'd deserve it.

Anonymous's picture

For those who have posted before me: you clearly didn't read the article... or you enjoy being a door mat. The article encourages you to be yourself and know that you deserve respect in a relationship. If you want a guy that will be tell you what to do, what to think and how to feel, then by all means, drop whatever your doing to be with him whenever he is available and don't bother formulating an opinion because it won't matter anyway. If you want to be a real partner in the relationship, then be strong and continue to be yourself, as the article suggests.

Anonymous's picture

This is frightening and weirdly anti-feminist. Having your own ideas, your own life, your own values, confidence, inner-strength, and strong boundaries now means you're a bitch? No ma'am, it means you're a mature, growing, self-aware person who loves herself and is comfortable in her own body. That's what men like and there's nothing inherently bitchy about it.
Being a bitch means being an asshole and who wants a man who enjoys spending time with assholes?

Anonymous's picture

Ummm...
This kinda describes the wife of every guy I know.
We don't generally call our wives "bitches", but the article does make a point of trying to redefine the word.
Of course, my wife wouldn't agree... *lol*
(I'm still trying to convince her that when Stewie slaps his mom on the *ss, it's not really "misogynist")

Anonymous's picture

This reminds me of the book "why men love bitches". Any girls savior when it comes to holding a guy down. If you really want to know why he isn't calling you back or doesn't want to see you this weekend its time to pull out the 'bitch' card. How things can turn around...

Anonymous's picture

You don't have to be a "bitch" to be strong, confident, intelligent nor to get what you want. You can set boundaries, have high expectations, have a zero-tolerance for b*llsh*t and still treat your man (and other women) with respect. I hate the "diva", "bitch" persona. Like you have to be nasty and rude to be a real woman. It doesn't make any sense. Would you like your man to be an ASSHOLE - rude, obnoxious, disrespectful - in order to get what he wants?!?! Most of us wouldn't tolerate that for 2 seconds - yet a lot of us think it is fine to be that way ourselves!?!?

Anonymous's picture

If you think that guys go for this kind, of stuff you are crazy. A supermodel/yoga instructor maybe - not real world women. An even then, they are "putting up with it" because they are getting their selfish needs fulfilled and the relationship is shallow and pathetic. My advice, be a nice girl (not a bitch) if you want a long term relationship (not a fling with a jerk).

Anonymous's picture

I think this is the most ridiculous article I've read on this site. I know it's all hip for women to want to be called Diva or Goddess or apparently now Bitch, but personally I think it's ludicrous.
I'm a woman, simple as that. It is beyond me why anyone would call intelligence, self-confidence, independence, and self-respect being a bitch.
It's how you use those qualities that determine the kind of person you are. On the surface the above advice sounds like a no brainer but from the picture used with it and the tone of the article it's encouraging women to not just embody the attributes I've noted above but to go about it with a big chip on your shoulder, like you're somehow owed something.
This constant 'battle of the sexes' is really tiring. Putting down, or advocating the disrespect of the opposite sex to make your half of the species feel superior is idiotic. And if you think that as women you're just leveling the playing field after years of not being equal, you're not. Treating people poorly is bad form no matter what's between your legs.
You don't have to be weak and wishy washy to be a nice person, and you don't have to walk all over people to get some respect. You get out of something what you put into it.
If you're being a bitch to your man, don't be surprised if he's an ass to you. You'd deserve it.

Anonymous's picture

For those who have posted before me: you clearly didn't read the article... or you enjoy being a door mat. The article encourages you to be yourself and know that you deserve respect in a relationship. If you want a guy that will be tell you what to do, what to think and how to feel, then by all means, drop whatever your doing to be with him whenever he is available and don't bother formulating an opinion because it won't matter anyway. If you want to be a real partner in the relationship, then be strong and continue to be yourself, as the article suggests.

Anonymous's picture

This is frightening and weirdly anti-feminist. Having your own ideas, your own life, your own values, confidence, inner-strength, and strong boundaries now means you're a bitch? No ma'am, it means you're a mature, growing, self-aware person who loves herself and is comfortable in her own body. That's what men like and there's nothing inherently bitchy about it.
Being a bitch means being an asshole and who wants a man who enjoys spending time with assholes?

Anonymous's picture

Ummm...
This kinda describes the wife of every guy I know.
We don't generally call our wives "bitches", but the article does make a point of trying to redefine the word.
Of course, my wife wouldn't agree... *lol*
(I'm still trying to convince her that when Stewie slaps his mom on the *ss, it's not really "misogynist")

Anonymous's picture

This reminds me of the book "why men love bitches". Any girls savior when it comes to holding a guy down. If you really want to know why he isn't calling you back or doesn't want to see you this weekend its time to pull out the 'bitch' card. How things can turn around...

Anonymous's picture

You don't have to be a "bitch" to be strong, confident, intelligent nor to get what you want. You can set boundaries, have high expectations, have a zero-tolerance for b*llsh*t and still treat your man (and other women) with respect. I hate the "diva", "bitch" persona. Like you have to be nasty and rude to be a real woman. It doesn't make any sense. Would you like your man to be an ASSHOLE - rude, obnoxious, disrespectful - in order to get what he wants?!?! Most of us wouldn't tolerate that for 2 seconds - yet a lot of us think it is fine to be that way ourselves!?!?

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