Should You Give Your Guy an Engagement Ultimatum?

Should You Give Your Guy an Engagement Ultimatum?

Be prepared for both a proposal and a potential break-up
Comments (55)

Waiting and wondering when your guy is going to pop the question can be agonizing, especially if you are not the type to sit back and take life as it comes. For those who have been go-getter "Type A" achievers since birth, not having any control over “achieving” the state of holy matrimony is beyond frustrating.

There are lots of reasons why guys are reluctant to propose: he’s worried about money, he’s irreparably scarred by his parent’s nasty divorce, he’s not ready to give up his "freedom," etc. However, if your urge to merge has fallen on deaf ears, and you truly feel that the threat of losing you is the only thing that’s going to get him down on one knee, here’s how to go about it:

Timing. Although there is no rule about when you can start to discuss the possibility of forever-ever, try not to mention your preference for platinum vs. white gold engagement ring settings before the 3 month mark. And definitely never bring this topic up in front of friends, family or on national TV, Miss Jennifer Love-Hewitt. For best results, save the "pop-the question" conversation until you’ve celebrated every holiday in the entire calendar year.

Mood. Pick a time when you are alone with your guy, when he’s relaxed and feeling communicative ie., NOT when you’re both drunk, not during a 15-minute time-out of the final game of the NHL Stanley cup playoffs, and never during post-sex dozing. Begin by explaining that you have something on your mind, and be very direct about how your uncertain status as his future Mrs. is making you feel. Try to remain as calm as possible, turning on the waterworks will only make him edgy and uncomfortable.

Deadline. Whatever timeline you give him for proposing, make sure it is fair, and that you can be patient enough to hang out in limbo for that much longer. If you want a ½ carat and a 250-guest extravaganza before your next birthday, factor in things like his car payments, current status as unpaid intern, or the fact that he is still paying off students loans and adjust your expectations accordingly.

Outcome. Give your guy some time to marinate. During this stage, be prepared for both a proposal and a potential break-up. If he drags it out until the 11th hour, but turns up with that perfect princess cut sparkler, will the fact that he needed a significant nudge take any of the shine off the rock? And if he declines to be deadlined, are you prepared to accept his decision, pack your bags and start searching for someone willing to put a ring on it?

Your turn. Have you ever given an ultimatum, or would you advise a friend to give one? Why or why not?

Comments

Anonymous's picture

Definitely would never give the engagement ultimatum. It would, for sure, take the shine off that diamond because it would always be in the back of my mind that he only agreed to marry me because it was easier than having to start over. As someone who waited MANY years for the engagement ring, it was worth it to know that it was his decision and also his idea on how to propose. And now I don't have to feel like I bullied my husband into marrying me.

Anonymous's picture

Don't ever give your guy an ultimatum on an engagement. By all means talk to him about marriage and engagements and do find out his views, feelings and fears. It is possible that he doesn't that he's ready for marriage and in that case your likely to be disappointed with the result of your move. Contrary to this article and popular belief women do have control over when they get engaged, they can take control of the situation by proposing themselves. This is the 21st century and there is no rule that says it must be the guy who proposes. Another solution is not getting married at all, why do we need this antiquated tradition? Maybe your guy feels that your relationship is perfect as it is and getting married would just be a redundant waste of money.

Anonymous's picture

If you have to threaten someone to marry you hes probably not the right one for you. Just Sayin.

Anonymous's picture

What functional long term relationship begins with an ultimatum?

Anonymous's picture

I had a friend who gave her bf an ultimatum... Simply because she was so insecure of their relationship and didn't know where things were going. She drove me crazy because she was constantly saying "I just don't know what he is really feeling". Three months after the wedding, she got drunk at a party and told me that she felt like she had twisted his arm to marry her, and still didn't know what he was really feeling. Agghhh!! If you're that unsure about your relationship, either it sucks or you are crazy insecure. Talk to the guy, but dont give him an ultimatum... It's not going to solve anything!!

Anonymous's picture

My best friend has been dating her current man for almost five years, and she is presenting her "ultimatum" at the end of the month after she and I go to Vegas. She dated her last boyfriend for seven years and he never ended up marrying her. She will be thirty next year, and they currently own a house together. He will toss the idea of marriage around, and then chalk it up to the fact that it's a waste of money. He makes VERY good money, and is always spending it on bikes and whatnot. He's also told her that if she would pay for a wedding he would gladly get married. When he asked her what she wanted for her birthday last week, she asked for a ring, and he said "isn't my love enough?"....
I'm sorry to all who think that giving an ultimatum is "twisting the guys arm" and whatnot...but I've consulted her into giving him the timeline, and yes, she is ready to pack her bags and go. I believe that giving him an ultimatum, especially if you have been living together that long is NOT twisting his arm....it's giving him reason to grow some balls. In this situation, the woman has given everything. Her devotion, she has sex with him, she supports him AND pays for half the house....so on his end he is thinking "why pay for the cow when the milk is free?"

Anonymous's picture

After two years in a relationship, I did have what my husband now affectionately refers to as the "#@*! or get off the pot" speach with him. Marriage was/is extremely important to me and continuing in an undefined, uncommitted state for an indefinite period of time was not an acceptable option for me. I was fully aware when I began the discussion that there were two possible outcomes and he might choose to walk away. Had that happened, I would have been very sad for a time, but I also would have known the truth of his intentions and I would have been free to move on and possibly find someone who would love me AND share my desire for marriage. I am very happy to say that he thought through the options, recognized the importance of marriage to me, and we have now been happily married for over 8 years. There was NO bullying in the discussion. There were no tears or cajoling in the discussion. I simply presented my thoughts and feelings on the matter to him, and gave him the time & freedom to make a choice and respond as his heart dictated.

Anonymous's picture

I did tell a friend to give her boyfriend an ultimatum, but only because I was so sick of hearing her complain about not being married and I knew he was too selfish to actually propose. It worked, and now she's better off.

Anonymous's picture

After 2.5 years of being in a serious relationship with my boyfriend I gave him an ultimatum. It wasn't out of the blue, for months we would openly talk about how important it was for me to feel secure for our future with an engagement. I am, 28, done with school, working a stable job, and fully committed to my relationship. My boyfriend, 29, is applying to graduate schools from all over the country for the second year in a row. I told him repeatedly that I would always be with him no matter what the outcome and we'd live life together no matter what came our way, but I wanted an engagement to solidify that he was able to give me that commitment before I went along for the long ride.
Long story short, he told me he would marry me one day, but not anytime soon. He said he didn't want to get engaged until he knew exactly where his cards would line up in life and feel a little stability. I understand that, I really do, but I didn't want to take the chance of him never committing.
He begged me not to give him the ultimatum, however, all the anxiety, pressure, and unknown of the future made me give him one. Needless to say, he said he couldn't. We are both a mess and I don't think he is going to come back. I thought he might, but it doesn't look like it. And now I don't know if I made the right choice.

Anonymous's picture

Maybe your friend should be asking herself whey these guys don’t want to marry her?!
You mention that me makes VERY good money and spends it on himself; it sounds like she wants to tie the knot (around his neck) so that she can get her hands on that money and spend it on herself. If he is willing to get married if she pays for the wedding then she should take him up on his offer or stop complaining.

Anonymous's picture

I think you need to have your friend read the book or see the movie "He's just not that into you"?
I suspect if you do, many questions and pieces to her "puzzle" will be answered.

Anonymous's picture

Isn't owning a house together commitment? If you need 'stuff' like a ring to validate a relationship maybe that means you need to sort through your own insecurities not thrust them on someone who cares about you. Marriage has always been about social control and women have somehow come to believe that it now means happily ever after. Respect yourself and your partner; a multi thousand dollar party will not save your relationship.

Anonymous's picture

Yep...
What about the women that bitches all the time?
You are never home? When you stay at home she complains don't you have something to do?
when he asked her out to dinner and would like to treat her to a romantic Italian dinner, she wants to go Chinese.
You buy her flowers.... Her answer, What did you do are you having an affair?
You try to cuddle up to her during the day to show you love and care for her, what do you get? Not again don't you ever think of anything else?
You come home early from work happy to spend more time with her. What do you get? How come you home early did you loose your job?
You took her out to dinner 2 days before St-Valentine day, nice dinner a movie and a present. Come St-Valentine day you don't have a present, you get shit from her, you did not even think of buying me flowers, what kind of guy are you?
You don't love me anymore?
Give us a break.... All they want is to control you, I don't like the way you dress,
your hair is wrong, I don't like you family, your furniture is to masculine. we should paint the walls pink......
Get with it. it is not always the man's fault , what ever you do it is never good enough to please.
Maybe it is time for you girls out there to say maybe there is something wrong with me.
R.

Anonymous's picture

I wouldn't give an ultimatum. I'd just propose to him.
But I do think that it's reasonable for a woman or man to say that something is important to them and they require it in a relationship. I don't know if that has to take the form of an ultimatum, but people do break up over differences in wanting children, where to settle down, etc.

Anonymous's picture

... Remember ladies, nothing says "I Love You" like an over-valued and superficial rock clawed from the guts of the Earth by African slave labor.

Anonymous's picture

After several years is one thing. But if a woman starts pressuring after 6 months and continually throws tantrums because he won't propose, she is seriously misguided. My ex did this to me. She said if I loved her, we should start our life together right away. I was already committed to her but she ruined it by being controlling and selfish. I could see that everything she did for and with me was about getting me to propose and prepping me for it. She even had a book on it. If I believed she truly was with me for me and not some agenda, I would have been more likely to propose. But I couldn't trust her. We had to split.

Anonymous's picture

all of you who gave ur man an ultimatum are losers and the only reason the ones who agreed to marry u did is because they dont want to start over and they already have a cow to milk so why wouldnt they just play along with you deseperate fools?

Anonymous's picture

Ugh, have an actual conversation with the guy without getting to an ultimatum level. If you seriously can't have a conversation about where your relationship is and is heading, then you are already in trouble and should see the writing on the wall.
I think many guys are genuinely scared of getting engaged and its not about the actual marriage as it is the wedding. To quote one of my husband's buddies "It's been a freaking nightmare since I gave her the ring"
The brides have gotten insane about weddings and the money that is wasted on one days events have gotten completely out of hand. Not only do they want the best ring, the wedding payment is sometimes more than their actual down payment on a house.

Anonymous's picture

You should know the person very well in a year or two maximum, and know if you're compatible and wanting to be with each other forever. if not, bail, because it's a waste of time.

Anonymous's picture

A lot of guys are just afraid and need to be pressured into it. You can force the discussion, and make him give real reasons not just 'a piece of paper means nothing' beacause that belittles the fact that it does mean something to you.

Anonymous's picture

There is a lot of hype about Ultimatum. Even being proposed to is an ultimatum if you look at it. Ultimatum is by definition with threat attached, well for commitment phones marriage is a threat. To the single woman in a relationship thats going around in cirlces getting nowhere then the threat of loving a man who doesn't want to be tied down to her is a threat. This is a judgement call. When your relationship meets a stalemate and you need to engage in talks about commitment and you've had problems and it hasn't flowed like a fairytale then state it, give a time limit yet also be respectful that they don't have to come up with the goods and be prepared to stand by it and walk. Will you marry me is an ultimatum YES OR NO.... NOW OR NEVER.... You know how Important being married and in a secure partnership is to me and we've had problems about our commitment for the past " _________" and you know how upset we are and don't seem to be able to move forward. I'm prepared to move on without you because I want us to both be happy in our lives and I can only be happy in a relationship where i feel X Y Z. At the end of the day guys if you love her you'd be respecting and expecting this, other wise don't play around with her feelings and grow up. I'm giving you a week to either come up with a ring and a proposal thats worth me hearing or I'm going off with George. Peter, Charles, Who ever. There is no threat attached its a PROMISE. Thats the same as a marriage proposal... I promise to marry thee... "_________" to take the as my one and only for ever not just while the going is good and if you don't say yes to me then i won't be asking you again and i won't be committing to you again. Simple ladies really don't let men or other women make you think their is a way to do these things for all.. There is only one way ladies. Your way or the highway and as soon as men get that and appreciate that the world will be a lot better off. For all you guys out there who do value your woman and who do get soft when with her, show her that she's your everything and know that as much as you have to be the big strong man outside to your woman your strength is in your weakness. I champion you. And may you live long and thrive and for you women that value these mens hearts and cherish them have a fantastic marriage. Yet stand for what you believe in and that starts with YOU. XXX

Anonymous's picture

That is a disgusting response - "the woman has given everything. her devotion, she has sex with him, she supports him AND pays for half the house".
how about - 'the MAN has given everything. HIS devotion, HE has sex with her, HE supports her AND pays for half the house."
you don't know any better, do you?

Anonymous's picture

"A lot of guys are just afraid and need to be pressured into it. You can force the discussion, and make him give real reasons not just 'a piece of paper means nothing' beacause that belittles the fact that it does mean something to you."
So what are 'real reasons' that actually mean something to HIM? when does a man ever benefit from marriage, except in those rare instances where the woman has more personal wealth than he does? usually (not always) that 'piece of paper' DOES mean something to a lot of women - and the reason is - because it automatically entitles them to half of everything the man has worked for his entire life!

Anonymous's picture

Honestly, if you have to give an ultimatum to a guy to marry you, then maybe you're with the wrong guy? I think if I were a guy I'd be totally distraught about it, and really confused. Way to ruin something that should be special and magical and somewhat of a surprise. I mean you can hint at it, but trying to force someone to marry you, totally crazy lol.

Anonymous's picture

"We don't need a piece of paper" IS a cop out... and a lousy, cliche one at that.
You want "good" reasons for not proposing? Here are a few: He can't afford the ring. He can't afford to help pay for the wedding. He's still in school. He's just out of school and trying to find a career. He doesn't have a job or is having a problem finding a decent one. He's not emotionally ready to promise life long commitment. He's still trying to get his life to a stable, secure point and wont make that commitment to anyone else until he can make it to himself. Family issues like divorce or illness. He could be having health issues as well.
All of these are "Good" reasons not to be ready to commit. Even saying, flat out "I'm not sure you're the one" or "I'm not ready to get married" are GOOD reasons as long as they are honest.
"We don't need a piece of paper" is a cop out for cowards.

Anonymous's picture

I've been in a relationship for 9 years . He is wonderful and although he is I feel like I am good enough to sleep with but not good enough for commited relationship like an engagement. I have waited 9 years now and told him the relationship was over not because I don't love him but because I felt like he didn't love me enough to ask me to spend the rest of his life with me until now. We are all attached he has 2 children and I have a daughter who is now in college and he is ver close with my mother as they work together my mother loves him like her son as well. I should have put my foot down a long time ago. They say why pay for the cow when you get the milk for free. We are both crying over this but I feel like if he did ask me to marry him it's only because i put my foot down. I feel like it shouldn't have taken this long. What to do I am sincerely broken hearted what do you think?

Anonymous's picture

I've been in a relationship for 9 years . He is wonderful and although he is I feel like I am good enough to sleep with but not good enough for commited relationship like an engagement. I have waited 9 years now and told him the relationship was over not because I don't love him but because I felt like he didn't love me enough to ask me to spend the rest of his life with me until now. We are all attached he has 2 children and I have a daughter who is now in college and he is ver close with my mother as they work together my mother loves him like her son as well. I should have put my foot down a long time ago. They say why pay for the cow when you get the milk for free. We are both crying over this but I feel like if he did ask me to marry him it's only because i put my foot down. I feel like it shouldn't have taken this long. What to do I am sincerely broken hearted what do you think?

Anonymous's picture

Definitely would never give the engagement ultimatum. It would, for sure, take the shine off that diamond because it would always be in the back of my mind that he only agreed to marry me because it was easier than having to start over. As someone who waited MANY years for the engagement ring, it was worth it to know that it was his decision and also his idea on how to propose. And now I don't have to feel like I bullied my husband into marrying me.

Anonymous's picture

Don't ever give your guy an ultimatum on an engagement. By all means talk to him about marriage and engagements and do find out his views, feelings and fears. It is possible that he doesn't that he's ready for marriage and in that case your likely to be disappointed with the result of your move. Contrary to this article and popular belief women do have control over when they get engaged, they can take control of the situation by proposing themselves. This is the 21st century and there is no rule that says it must be the guy who proposes. Another solution is not getting married at all, why do we need this antiquated tradition? Maybe your guy feels that your relationship is perfect as it is and getting married would just be a redundant waste of money.

Anonymous's picture

If you have to threaten someone to marry you hes probably not the right one for you. Just Sayin.

Anonymous's picture

What functional long term relationship begins with an ultimatum?

Anonymous's picture

I had a friend who gave her bf an ultimatum... Simply because she was so insecure of their relationship and didn't know where things were going. She drove me crazy because she was constantly saying "I just don't know what he is really feeling". Three months after the wedding, she got drunk at a party and told me that she felt like she had twisted his arm to marry her, and still didn't know what he was really feeling. Agghhh!! If you're that unsure about your relationship, either it sucks or you are crazy insecure. Talk to the guy, but dont give him an ultimatum... It's not going to solve anything!!

Anonymous's picture

My best friend has been dating her current man for almost five years, and she is presenting her "ultimatum" at the end of the month after she and I go to Vegas. She dated her last boyfriend for seven years and he never ended up marrying her. She will be thirty next year, and they currently own a house together. He will toss the idea of marriage around, and then chalk it up to the fact that it's a waste of money. He makes VERY good money, and is always spending it on bikes and whatnot. He's also told her that if she would pay for a wedding he would gladly get married. When he asked her what she wanted for her birthday last week, she asked for a ring, and he said "isn't my love enough?"....
I'm sorry to all who think that giving an ultimatum is "twisting the guys arm" and whatnot...but I've consulted her into giving him the timeline, and yes, she is ready to pack her bags and go. I believe that giving him an ultimatum, especially if you have been living together that long is NOT twisting his arm....it's giving him reason to grow some balls. In this situation, the woman has given everything. Her devotion, she has sex with him, she supports him AND pays for half the house....so on his end he is thinking "why pay for the cow when the milk is free?"

Anonymous's picture

After two years in a relationship, I did have what my husband now affectionately refers to as the "#@*! or get off the pot" speach with him. Marriage was/is extremely important to me and continuing in an undefined, uncommitted state for an indefinite period of time was not an acceptable option for me. I was fully aware when I began the discussion that there were two possible outcomes and he might choose to walk away. Had that happened, I would have been very sad for a time, but I also would have known the truth of his intentions and I would have been free to move on and possibly find someone who would love me AND share my desire for marriage. I am very happy to say that he thought through the options, recognized the importance of marriage to me, and we have now been happily married for over 8 years. There was NO bullying in the discussion. There were no tears or cajoling in the discussion. I simply presented my thoughts and feelings on the matter to him, and gave him the time & freedom to make a choice and respond as his heart dictated.

Anonymous's picture

I did tell a friend to give her boyfriend an ultimatum, but only because I was so sick of hearing her complain about not being married and I knew he was too selfish to actually propose. It worked, and now she's better off.

Anonymous's picture

After 2.5 years of being in a serious relationship with my boyfriend I gave him an ultimatum. It wasn't out of the blue, for months we would openly talk about how important it was for me to feel secure for our future with an engagement. I am, 28, done with school, working a stable job, and fully committed to my relationship. My boyfriend, 29, is applying to graduate schools from all over the country for the second year in a row. I told him repeatedly that I would always be with him no matter what the outcome and we'd live life together no matter what came our way, but I wanted an engagement to solidify that he was able to give me that commitment before I went along for the long ride.
Long story short, he told me he would marry me one day, but not anytime soon. He said he didn't want to get engaged until he knew exactly where his cards would line up in life and feel a little stability. I understand that, I really do, but I didn't want to take the chance of him never committing.
He begged me not to give him the ultimatum, however, all the anxiety, pressure, and unknown of the future made me give him one. Needless to say, he said he couldn't. We are both a mess and I don't think he is going to come back. I thought he might, but it doesn't look like it. And now I don't know if I made the right choice.

Anonymous's picture

Maybe your friend should be asking herself whey these guys don’t want to marry her?!
You mention that me makes VERY good money and spends it on himself; it sounds like she wants to tie the knot (around his neck) so that she can get her hands on that money and spend it on herself. If he is willing to get married if she pays for the wedding then she should take him up on his offer or stop complaining.

Anonymous's picture

I think you need to have your friend read the book or see the movie "He's just not that into you"?
I suspect if you do, many questions and pieces to her "puzzle" will be answered.

Anonymous's picture

Isn't owning a house together commitment? If you need 'stuff' like a ring to validate a relationship maybe that means you need to sort through your own insecurities not thrust them on someone who cares about you. Marriage has always been about social control and women have somehow come to believe that it now means happily ever after. Respect yourself and your partner; a multi thousand dollar party will not save your relationship.

Anonymous's picture

Yep...
What about the women that bitches all the time?
You are never home? When you stay at home she complains don't you have something to do?
when he asked her out to dinner and would like to treat her to a romantic Italian dinner, she wants to go Chinese.
You buy her flowers.... Her answer, What did you do are you having an affair?
You try to cuddle up to her during the day to show you love and care for her, what do you get? Not again don't you ever think of anything else?
You come home early from work happy to spend more time with her. What do you get? How come you home early did you loose your job?
You took her out to dinner 2 days before St-Valentine day, nice dinner a movie and a present. Come St-Valentine day you don't have a present, you get shit from her, you did not even think of buying me flowers, what kind of guy are you?
You don't love me anymore?
Give us a break.... All they want is to control you, I don't like the way you dress,
your hair is wrong, I don't like you family, your furniture is to masculine. we should paint the walls pink......
Get with it. it is not always the man's fault , what ever you do it is never good enough to please.
Maybe it is time for you girls out there to say maybe there is something wrong with me.
R.

Anonymous's picture

I wouldn't give an ultimatum. I'd just propose to him.
But I do think that it's reasonable for a woman or man to say that something is important to them and they require it in a relationship. I don't know if that has to take the form of an ultimatum, but people do break up over differences in wanting children, where to settle down, etc.

Anonymous's picture

... Remember ladies, nothing says "I Love You" like an over-valued and superficial rock clawed from the guts of the Earth by African slave labor.

Anonymous's picture

After several years is one thing. But if a woman starts pressuring after 6 months and continually throws tantrums because he won't propose, she is seriously misguided. My ex did this to me. She said if I loved her, we should start our life together right away. I was already committed to her but she ruined it by being controlling and selfish. I could see that everything she did for and with me was about getting me to propose and prepping me for it. She even had a book on it. If I believed she truly was with me for me and not some agenda, I would have been more likely to propose. But I couldn't trust her. We had to split.

Anonymous's picture

all of you who gave ur man an ultimatum are losers and the only reason the ones who agreed to marry u did is because they dont want to start over and they already have a cow to milk so why wouldnt they just play along with you deseperate fools?

Anonymous's picture

Ugh, have an actual conversation with the guy without getting to an ultimatum level. If you seriously can't have a conversation about where your relationship is and is heading, then you are already in trouble and should see the writing on the wall.
I think many guys are genuinely scared of getting engaged and its not about the actual marriage as it is the wedding. To quote one of my husband's buddies "It's been a freaking nightmare since I gave her the ring"
The brides have gotten insane about weddings and the money that is wasted on one days events have gotten completely out of hand. Not only do they want the best ring, the wedding payment is sometimes more than their actual down payment on a house.

Anonymous's picture

You should know the person very well in a year or two maximum, and know if you're compatible and wanting to be with each other forever. if not, bail, because it's a waste of time.

Anonymous's picture

A lot of guys are just afraid and need to be pressured into it. You can force the discussion, and make him give real reasons not just 'a piece of paper means nothing' beacause that belittles the fact that it does mean something to you.

Anonymous's picture

There is a lot of hype about Ultimatum. Even being proposed to is an ultimatum if you look at it. Ultimatum is by definition with threat attached, well for commitment phones marriage is a threat. To the single woman in a relationship thats going around in cirlces getting nowhere then the threat of loving a man who doesn't want to be tied down to her is a threat. This is a judgement call. When your relationship meets a stalemate and you need to engage in talks about commitment and you've had problems and it hasn't flowed like a fairytale then state it, give a time limit yet also be respectful that they don't have to come up with the goods and be prepared to stand by it and walk. Will you marry me is an ultimatum YES OR NO.... NOW OR NEVER.... You know how Important being married and in a secure partnership is to me and we've had problems about our commitment for the past " _________" and you know how upset we are and don't seem to be able to move forward. I'm prepared to move on without you because I want us to both be happy in our lives and I can only be happy in a relationship where i feel X Y Z. At the end of the day guys if you love her you'd be respecting and expecting this, other wise don't play around with her feelings and grow up. I'm giving you a week to either come up with a ring and a proposal thats worth me hearing or I'm going off with George. Peter, Charles, Who ever. There is no threat attached its a PROMISE. Thats the same as a marriage proposal... I promise to marry thee... "_________" to take the as my one and only for ever not just while the going is good and if you don't say yes to me then i won't be asking you again and i won't be committing to you again. Simple ladies really don't let men or other women make you think their is a way to do these things for all.. There is only one way ladies. Your way or the highway and as soon as men get that and appreciate that the world will be a lot better off. For all you guys out there who do value your woman and who do get soft when with her, show her that she's your everything and know that as much as you have to be the big strong man outside to your woman your strength is in your weakness. I champion you. And may you live long and thrive and for you women that value these mens hearts and cherish them have a fantastic marriage. Yet stand for what you believe in and that starts with YOU. XXX

Anonymous's picture

That is a disgusting response - "the woman has given everything. her devotion, she has sex with him, she supports him AND pays for half the house".
how about - 'the MAN has given everything. HIS devotion, HE has sex with her, HE supports her AND pays for half the house."
you don't know any better, do you?

Anonymous's picture

"A lot of guys are just afraid and need to be pressured into it. You can force the discussion, and make him give real reasons not just 'a piece of paper means nothing' beacause that belittles the fact that it does mean something to you."
So what are 'real reasons' that actually mean something to HIM? when does a man ever benefit from marriage, except in those rare instances where the woman has more personal wealth than he does? usually (not always) that 'piece of paper' DOES mean something to a lot of women - and the reason is - because it automatically entitles them to half of everything the man has worked for his entire life!

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