If you’ve been jerked around by dating people who don’t know what they want, and you’re frustrated, heartbroken, and wondering if you’ll ever find anyone worthwhile, it might be best to step away from the dating game for a while. Rest assured that it’s not you: finding someone you’re compatible with and can relate too is pretty miraculous. Sometimes, it feels further away than others. A break might put you in check. Here’s how to find out if you need a break:
1. You assume the worst about every guy who looks your way
Instead of getting butterflies when you make eye contact with a cute stranger, do you immediately avert your gaze and your body language? When you get into the mindset that “they’re all the same”, that’s a sign.
2. You start to hate your phone
Whether it’s a matter of waiting in vain for it to beep, or any number of undesirable senders blowing it up, feeling anxiety when you check your phone isn’t ideal. Texting when dating always comes with a certain degree of anxiety, but when it’s accompanied by a feeling of dread, give your Blackberry (and your nerves) a rest.
3. All your conversations sound the same
When you’re out with people who you don’t really connect with, it can start to feel like you’re just going through the motions. When you’re truly stimulated by someone else, your conversations will be unique and ideally, inspiring, sexy, and exciting. When you don’t feel that, chances are nothing else will be that extraordinary.
4. You feel like you need me time
Dating without really connecting can be isolating. Take some time to focus on you: your work, your goals, your great friends. Make a list of personal goals to work on and put that exciting plan into serious action. When you pour your energy into what you love most, you’re less likely to surrender to scrutinizing texts.
5. Successful dating feels impossible
Just because you’re disillusioned from dating too many unremarkables doesn’t mean the world has nothing to offer you. Remind yourself that dating is seriously hard – finding someone who excites you, makes you laugh, is worthy of your respect, and on top of all that, is emotionally available, is so rare. You’re going to have to sift through some failures to find a gem.
Lest you become jaded and cynical long before necessary, take a break from dating. Don’t wear yourself out. You don’t have to take a vow of solitude, just a few weeks or months to focus on the parts of your life you can control. You may be surprised at how that break gives you the breath of fresh air you need to change your attitude.