Five Guys You Should Never Settle For

Five Guys You Should Never Settle For

Are you dating any of them?
Comments (34)

Have you ever been in a relationship, which on the surface seemed perfect, but there was still that one thing about him you were still iffy about? Maybe he has a hard time apologizing, or you’re not sure if he’s fully committed to you. Everybody has flaws, but when it comes to love, there are several characteristics you should never have to settle for.

The Non-Apologetic
It can be hard to deal with people who never apologize. Being able to admit that you’re wrong and take ownership for your actions is a sign of maturity. If your boyfriend never apologizes when you express that he’s hurt you, this could be a serious red flag.

You should be with someone who will show empathy when you’re down and will want to right his wrongs. If your boyfriend hurts you in any way or does something to upset you, he should make the effort to make it up to you. Don’t let your man get away with everything. By always letting him off the hook, you’re only preventing him from staying hooked.

The Non-Committal
If you are with someone who wants you, but only on his own time, this could be a sign that he is not very committed to the relationship. It’s been said that men generally have a harder time committing to a relationship than do women. Unlike women who act based on their emotions, men are more logical about things. For example, women are more inclined to jump into a relationship because a guy makes her feel happy and secure. Men, on the other hand, need to make sure that the girl he ends up with possesses all the qualities he is looking for. As a result, he will spend more time playing the field before settling down.

Unless you are down with being friends with benefits or keeping things light and casual, you may want to pursue a relationship elsewhere. Non-committal guys are not likely to change very quickly so there is no point in waiting around. If he really loved you, he wouldn’t be so hesitant.

The Guilt-tripper
This guy is very good at manipulating you and toying with your emotions. He makes you feel like every problem the two of you have is your fault. He says the two of you are always fighting because he thinks you nitpick and complain too much. But really, you only complain because he can’t do the littlest things to show you he wants to be with you, like being on time for a date. This constant blame game isn’t healthy and you shouldn’t have to deal with it. Who wants to be with a man who places all the blame on you and makes it seem like everything’s your fault anyway? Find a new man – one who will admit to his share in an argument.

The Uncompromisable
This arrogant dude isn’t willing to negotiate when the two of you butt heads. If you are with a man who never compromises, you are treading dangerous waters. A guy who doesn’t compromise can be hard to deal with. He pretty much believes that he’s great just the way he is. As a result, he makes no effort to improve and change his flaws because he believes that that’s how he’s always been, therefore that’s how he will always be.

Being in a relationship is a great way for people to discover new things about themselves and develop better interpersonal skills. Since everyone is different, you constantly have to adjust yourself to that person. But if you’re boyfriend is unwilling to adjust himself to you, you will find yourself changing more and more things about you to fit what he needs. Relationships require compromise, not conformity.

The Parental Guardian
You already spent the first 18 to 30 years of your life living under your parents’ roof and abiding by their rules. Now your boyfriend tells you that you dress too slutty and you have no manners. “Thanks, Dad. You always know just what to say.”

It can be frustrating when your boyfriend acts like your parent. Actually, it kind of sends shivers down your spine thinking about how much he reminds you of your father. First of all, you’re an adult and don’t need someone to boss you around. Secondly, a guy who treats you like a child probably craves power and authority in the relationship. Don’t let him put you down because he’s older or more experienced than you. Let him know you’re potty trained and you don’t need someone to change your diapers for you. You can expect to find this “Dad” type of guy in men who already have children.

Comments

Anonymous's picture

My partner has all these traits ALL OF THEM! Its been 7yrs now 2 babies a house everything but marriage thank god. I see its bad its always going to remain the same. I leave but cant leave for good. What the hell is with me?

Anonymous's picture

The Comment :"You can expect to find this “Dad” type of guy in men who already have children." Is not only unjustified but so very often erroneous. There are some men, of course, like this but most men with children are or should be concerned that he treat the lady as an adult because that is what he is missing, an adult. He has children, and especially if he is raising his children half the time or more, he does not want the lady in his life to be another child. The comment just does not make sense. I have been there !!

Anonymous's picture

Wow! My ex-husband had 4 out of 5 of these traits.

Anonymous's picture

The relationship I am trying to end!! He has ALL of those qualities, and I keep runnning, but for some reason I've been a sucker! Talk about it being time to bail and bail fast!!

Anonymous's picture

so funny how often i overlook these traits if even one semi-good trait is exhibited!! especially the guilt-tripper...i cant even count the number of times i apologized to my ex for HIS behaviour lol.

Anonymous's picture

But what if the woman shows all of these signs?? Is it the same??I just left a womanof 3 years, a seemed very nice one BUT she could never say she was sorry NEVER.And the trip guilty thing well that was weekly for sure.Also for apologising i dont think once she ever did.also if i said something to her kids to make them behave then i did not like them as she told me,so where do you go.So i guess i was never good enough so i just finialy left. But i thought i had the world

Anonymous's picture

I wish that I had a good guy like you. I must admit good men are hard to run across. You didn't do a thing wrong. Glad that you found the trust in yourself to move forward. That's one gift I have as well. I know when it's time to go.

Anonymous's picture

The Non-Committal; I think I started seeing one of these a few weeks ago. He and I initially sent emails back and forth, and then after the first date he backed off. I thought I'd never hear from him again, and then he contacts me to ask me to brunch. No problem, except that I had to go there (several miles away), and re-arrange my schedule three times to spend time with him. Then, it looks like he really doesn't want to spend time with me at all, so I say "that's it, thanks a lot" and I don't bother contacting him. Then I hear from him last Friday.
It seems he only emails once a week. I don't have a bad feeling about him, but at the same time, I don't have a great feeling about him. He seems very sweet, kind, likable--and yet, I'll email him and he'll ignore me. The last email, over a week ago, I asked if we could both attend a performance together. He never responded by the performance date (Thursday). Then Friday he emails me to tell me that he guessed i didn't go. Well, my question was "would you like to go together?" So, am I being played or is he just messed up.
(And before you answer, I met him on Plenty of Fish so, anything is possible including that he's a mental patient escaped from a local sanitarium. POF is not my favorite place).
Thanks for any advice you might give,
Greener

Anonymous's picture

Are we having experience with the same guy? I am exactly in the same situation, exactly with the same scenario. And it goes on and off for months now. I tried to get out letting him know that I was not willing to continue such a so called friendship and I ignored him for weeks. He could not take it and sent me an email telling that he found one of my emails in his spam. Bahhh. Such a lame excuse.
He also backed off after our the first date, ignored me, replied only to my calls and emails when he wanted to. I had to realize that he is not interested at all, played me and still he does not want me to let go. Don't waste your time for that guy. It is really exhausting and does not help to build a healthy self-esteem.
I fell for this guy and by knowing that he is really manipulating me emotionally. He is lying to my face, he is never clear on anything. I am just trying to move on and it is hard. I am really hurt. Don't put yourself in the same situation because you are going to be hooked and it is really difficult to get out. Move on and do not expect anything good out of it. They are really good players. Good luck. An other green.

Anonymous's picture

funny comments, since a lot of these traits I've found in women.

Anonymous's picture

What a little girl article!!

Anonymous's picture

I dated a guy for almost 4 yrs that exhibited the same traits like these.. He had every single trait discussed on this article. I thought I had found the man that I was meant to be with to marry but I was wrong. Through it all I almost lost my life in a car accident and he didnt even visit me when i was in the hospital.. He treated me so badly and I was so stupid to stay with him as long as i did. I was looking the other day at some old photos I found in a box of me & him and it was like I never even existed. He left me during a bad time and continued his life drinking, partying and having fun. It still hurts to this day. Hurt my heart to the core. I feel like I will never get justice.But I am thankful to God that he is no longer in my life and that I didnt end up unhappy with this man for the rest of my life cause i could have easily gotten trapped.

Anonymous's picture

where's the like button when you need it...? lol

Anonymous's picture

I am going through the same situation with this man im dating. It is sooo hurtful and my self-esteem has been damaged. I tell him he has hurt me and he refuses to apologize says he doesnt want the drama, but wont leave. Ive been having pannick attacks because of him too, whenver he texts me, leaves messages, im so afraid its gonna be something that will hurt me even more and I wont recover emotionally.
I know how you all feel and I am too, struggling to move on and recover.

Anonymous's picture

Yes, it goes both ways. Men experience this with women too. Warning signs you should run from!

Anonymous's picture

My partner has all these traits ALL OF THEM! Its been 7yrs now 2 babies a house everything but marriage thank god. I see its bad its always going to remain the same. I leave but cant leave for good. What the hell is with me?

Anonymous's picture

The Comment :"You can expect to find this “Dad” type of guy in men who already have children." Is not only unjustified but so very often erroneous. There are some men, of course, like this but most men with children are or should be concerned that he treat the lady as an adult because that is what he is missing, an adult. He has children, and especially if he is raising his children half the time or more, he does not want the lady in his life to be another child. The comment just does not make sense. I have been there !!

Anonymous's picture

Wow! My ex-husband had 4 out of 5 of these traits.

Anonymous's picture

The relationship I am trying to end!! He has ALL of those qualities, and I keep runnning, but for some reason I've been a sucker! Talk about it being time to bail and bail fast!!

Anonymous's picture

so funny how often i overlook these traits if even one semi-good trait is exhibited!! especially the guilt-tripper...i cant even count the number of times i apologized to my ex for HIS behaviour lol.

Anonymous's picture

But what if the woman shows all of these signs?? Is it the same??I just left a womanof 3 years, a seemed very nice one BUT she could never say she was sorry NEVER.And the trip guilty thing well that was weekly for sure.Also for apologising i dont think once she ever did.also if i said something to her kids to make them behave then i did not like them as she told me,so where do you go.So i guess i was never good enough so i just finialy left. But i thought i had the world

Anonymous's picture

I wish that I had a good guy like you. I must admit good men are hard to run across. You didn't do a thing wrong. Glad that you found the trust in yourself to move forward. That's one gift I have as well. I know when it's time to go.

Anonymous's picture

The Non-Committal; I think I started seeing one of these a few weeks ago. He and I initially sent emails back and forth, and then after the first date he backed off. I thought I'd never hear from him again, and then he contacts me to ask me to brunch. No problem, except that I had to go there (several miles away), and re-arrange my schedule three times to spend time with him. Then, it looks like he really doesn't want to spend time with me at all, so I say "that's it, thanks a lot" and I don't bother contacting him. Then I hear from him last Friday.
It seems he only emails once a week. I don't have a bad feeling about him, but at the same time, I don't have a great feeling about him. He seems very sweet, kind, likable--and yet, I'll email him and he'll ignore me. The last email, over a week ago, I asked if we could both attend a performance together. He never responded by the performance date (Thursday). Then Friday he emails me to tell me that he guessed i didn't go. Well, my question was "would you like to go together?" So, am I being played or is he just messed up.
(And before you answer, I met him on Plenty of Fish so, anything is possible including that he's a mental patient escaped from a local sanitarium. POF is not my favorite place).
Thanks for any advice you might give,
Greener

Anonymous's picture

Are we having experience with the same guy? I am exactly in the same situation, exactly with the same scenario. And it goes on and off for months now. I tried to get out letting him know that I was not willing to continue such a so called friendship and I ignored him for weeks. He could not take it and sent me an email telling that he found one of my emails in his spam. Bahhh. Such a lame excuse.
He also backed off after our the first date, ignored me, replied only to my calls and emails when he wanted to. I had to realize that he is not interested at all, played me and still he does not want me to let go. Don't waste your time for that guy. It is really exhausting and does not help to build a healthy self-esteem.
I fell for this guy and by knowing that he is really manipulating me emotionally. He is lying to my face, he is never clear on anything. I am just trying to move on and it is hard. I am really hurt. Don't put yourself in the same situation because you are going to be hooked and it is really difficult to get out. Move on and do not expect anything good out of it. They are really good players. Good luck. An other green.

Anonymous's picture

funny comments, since a lot of these traits I've found in women.

Anonymous's picture

What a little girl article!!

Anonymous's picture

I dated a guy for almost 4 yrs that exhibited the same traits like these.. He had every single trait discussed on this article. I thought I had found the man that I was meant to be with to marry but I was wrong. Through it all I almost lost my life in a car accident and he didnt even visit me when i was in the hospital.. He treated me so badly and I was so stupid to stay with him as long as i did. I was looking the other day at some old photos I found in a box of me & him and it was like I never even existed. He left me during a bad time and continued his life drinking, partying and having fun. It still hurts to this day. Hurt my heart to the core. I feel like I will never get justice.But I am thankful to God that he is no longer in my life and that I didnt end up unhappy with this man for the rest of my life cause i could have easily gotten trapped.

Anonymous's picture

where's the like button when you need it...? lol

Anonymous's picture

I am going through the same situation with this man im dating. It is sooo hurtful and my self-esteem has been damaged. I tell him he has hurt me and he refuses to apologize says he doesnt want the drama, but wont leave. Ive been having pannick attacks because of him too, whenver he texts me, leaves messages, im so afraid its gonna be something that will hurt me even more and I wont recover emotionally.
I know how you all feel and I am too, struggling to move on and recover.

Anonymous's picture

Yes, it goes both ways. Men experience this with women too. Warning signs you should run from!

Anonymous's picture

As a POF subscriber, I can say the women on there are placed into 3 categories.
1. Desperate ! You know who they are, there friends are married and having children. They have a want or a desire to be in the same boat as their friends, always complaining that they'll never find the "one". So, they enter POF just to find a man. They have the typical rhetoric in their profile. It's almost daunting to read 50 profiles from 50 different women and you cant tell the difference in either of them.
2. Soulless, You know where I'm going.... I want a man that can take care of me, I'm a princess, I deserve my cake and eat it too, I don't have to put forth any effort in this relationship because my Man will do all the work. Maybe, you should get with the program ladies... Men are lazy and you will end up doing most of the heavy lifting. Get that through your head early on.
3. Easy, I cannot tell you how many times I have slept with a woman on POF after just one date, Even the same night we meet. I will sleep with you, However don't think it will be more than that. I will call the next day, but usually it'll be to say I feel no chemistry and it wont work between us. Here is my thinking, If it was that easy to sleep with you, How easy will you be when you go out with your friends some night and I'm at home with the kids ? Easy !
Three categories for men.
1. Who are we kidding ? There's only one. SEX ! POF was set up so that we didn't have to go to a bar, with a 100 guys better than us hitting on you and us wasting our evening. POF is there so we can lay it on, swap some emails and meet for sex. The odds of us meeting you, falling in love, marriage, house, kids are 1 in 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000. How many single guys are in your city ? Not very good odds.
You want a Man ? Go to a Home Improvement store, Grocery Store, Target or even a swap meet type setting. Go where single men go. A Bar? Your missing my point. Men go to bars to get laid. Heck I met an ex at a gas station pumping my gas. Go where men Need things. IE: clothes, food, tools, etc. You could try a wedding, a lot of stupid men go to them.
The point is, you want a man? Don't go on a dating site, bar, party, rock concert, sporting event or even a gym. A gym.... Please don't go to my gym, I am there to workout not work on you. That's like going to a snake farm to meet a mouse.
Plain and simple. If a man wants to be with you, he'll make the effort. If not, he'll drag you along in his own personal hell. This guy sounds like a turd, flush it !

Anonymous's picture

Five Girls You Should Never Settle For
Are you dating any of them?
Easy
Needy
Self-centered
Brainless
Too Sensitive

Anonymous's picture

It sounds like he thinks you are desperate and he is the prize. He's not, move on.
He's already set the stage of playing games with you. And my hunch is that is the way
the situation will continue.
It is helpful for women to date many men (non sexually) so you can find out who a man
really is or isn't over time and he can discover you.

Ebonie McCloud's picture

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