It is common to spend more time with your co-workers than you do with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Forty hours a week is enough time spent with someone to build a strong friendship, or depending on the chemistry, a romance. If your instinct tells you that your significant other has found themselves in an office romance here are some signs to look for.
He Does Not Invite You to Office Parties
If he does not want to introduce you to his co-workers that is a major sign that he wants to appear single. These are opportunities for him to be with the people he works with in a casual, non-professional environment. The feelings he has for his colleague may escalate while sharing drinks and having a good time.
He Is Always Raving About “Katie”
Is he always talking about one specific co-worker who “said the funniest thing” or “had to work late with”? Although it could be an innocent friendship, this person obviously has made an impression on him. Next time he drops her name, ask him if he could introduce you to her, if he likes her you should get along with her as well. If he responds strangely to this request, it is a sign that he wants to keep her to himself.
Always Working Late
Is he constantly cancelling plans last minute to work late? If you have a good feeling he is lying, casually stop by his work to bring him a coffee or bagel to get him through the night. If he is upset to see you or asks that you not stop by his work, he is trying to separate you from the relationships he shares at the office. If he is not at work at all, that is a red flag that he has been lying about where he is and who he is with.
Never Answers Work Calls/Emails When You’re Together
If he walks away when he takes a work call or is very protective of his computer when checking his emails he could be hiding something. Unless he works a job where information would be considered private or top secret, there shouldn’t be a reason for him to hide this from you. He may be having an inappropriate conversation with someone at work.
The best way to get to the bottom of your speculation is to talk to him about your concerns. Let him know that you have a suspicious feeling he may be building a relationship with someone at work. Worst case scenario is that he denies it, but you get to see his reaction to your confrontation. A reaction can tell you if someone is hiding something or being dishonest. If he becomes defensive and angry with you, it could be that he is upset he has been caught off guard.
Trust is an essential part of any relationship, if you are having a difficult time trusting him, try couples counselling or simply get out of the relationship. Accusations and sneaking around won’t fix the problem.