5 Things You Should Never Tell Your Man

5 Things You Should Never Tell Your Man

Honesty isn’t always the best policy—here’s why
Comments (90)

Relationships are all about being open and honest. Or are they? There are just some things you should never, ever tell your boyfriend or husband—and your mother probably won’t tell you what they are. So we will – here are the top five things you should never, under any circumstances, tell your man:

 

1. How many sexual partners you’ve had. Trust us, he does not need to know this information. Here’s why: if you’ve only had a few sexual partners, he might wonder if you’ll be tempted to stray later on in the relationship. If the number is too high—and who knows what that arbitrary number might be (no, don’t ask him!)—he might think you’re loose (to use a kind word). So just don’t tell him. If he asks, just smile mysteriously and answer something like “Enough to know how fantastic you are!”

2. Anything about your ex-boyfriend or ex-husband. If he asks for details, say as little as possible. Never volunteer any information about an ex—it can only lead to feelings of inadequacy, suspicion, and a host of other feelings, none of them good. Don’t talk about where your ex worked, the restaurants he liked to go to—even his name, if you can help it. Keep the past in the past.

3. How hot his best friend, brother or (God forbid!) dad is. Unless you’ve got the hots for a celebrity that you’ll never meet in real life, keep your crushes a secret. Otherwise, he’ll become suspicious of anything you say or do around the person—and it’s not fair to either of you to cause that kind of havoc in your relationship. As far as your man is concerned, he’s the hottest guy you know.

4. Anything negative about his sexual prowess. This goes for size, technique or endurance. It will haunt you forever. Do not criticize his “manhood” in any way—he’ll never forget it, even if he never brings it up again.

5. That you feel like you “settled” for him. Hopefully you would never mention this to your boyfriend or husband, but during a fight, you could be tempted to blurt this out. Don’t. Even if it’s not true, it will lead, eventually, to the disintegration of your relationship. And if it is true, maybe you need to think about finding someone you’re really into. But in the meantime, you don’t need to communicate this hurtful information. You’re better than that!

 

 
 

Comments

Anonymous's picture

this is the biggest bunch of garbage i've ever read. if you can't tell your man these things then why the heck are you with him. you should be able to tell your man anything and he should still love you no matter what and he should still love himself no matter what. if he has any brain in his head he'll take it as advice and not criticisim. you don't want to be stuck with a man that can't improve upon his sex life cause it's not just his sex life it's yours too!

Anonymous's picture

I wholly disagree with Candice. To deliberately hurt someone by showing them how insensitive you are with the sharing of these things...what more is there to say? I can only
say that abviously, Candice doesn't know much about men.
Vince

Anonymous's picture

Sounds like your man is crappy in the sack there candice. Article seems to have struck a nerve. lol

Anonymous's picture

I totally agree with this article. The past is the past in all aspects mentioned. If you have a loving, caring TRUSTING relationship..you are one lucky woman. Take it for what it is, nourish it and be happy....

Anonymous's picture

Um Candice, do you like to be told that your body could use some work, like a boob job? Or would you like ur man to talk about how good his ex was in bed? Somethings couples do not share for the sake of ruining a good thing.

Anonymous's picture

Seriously, you people think that lying and keeping things from your partners is the right way to go? No wonder the divorce rate is so high! Can't say anything about his sexual prowess? That just leads to women who fake orgasms then masturbate in the shower quietly and feel guilty. No wonder so many women are dissatisfied with their sex life!
The key isn't NOT talking about these things, it's HOW you talk about these things.

Anonymous's picture

I agree. A lie is not going to pay any favors in the future. If there is a problem, find a non hurtful way of bringing to the table to be discussed, worked on and hopefully improved.
My boyfriends marriage ended, (2 yrs before I met him) and he had slept with only two women since then. He told me up front there would be endurance issues. So I told him it shouldn't be a problem since I hadn't been with anyone for quite some time either. We don't have any ego related issues, so discussing it was easy. So was the cure. I slapped his behind and said, "lets go work on that endurance". Sex more often, leads to more pleasure, more often. Lies, when found out, only leads to the end of what could have been. Hurting someone, always blows up in your face.
<~A~>

Anonymous's picture

Lots of people jumping down your throat on this one. I also think that's why alot of women have affairs on thier husbands becasue they are not getting taken care of at home. So, yes talking about sexual performance and making improvments is better than the alternative, because how is he going to feel when he finds out you need good sex and have to go elsewhere for it. Some men just suck in bed and have no imagination, thererfore, its time to hit the showers..lol. We just dont need to hear about your other boyfriends thats all. My ex-wife wasn't good in bed and wearing the teachers hat gets old after awhile, you either have a passion for being good a sex or you don't. I left my wife becasue she didn't have that passion and thats how we grew into friends. I find people who are competative at sports and other stuff are also competitive in the bedroom, they want to play well and a shity performance is something that needs to be improved on. These people can't wait to get back on and show you that they can rock your world better and better each time. I have no idea why I felt the need to respond...lol I got things to do!

Anonymous's picture

I believe, when you are in a healthy relationship you should be able to talk about anything with your partner. I agree that certain things ( as mentioned in the article) should be discussed very carefully so it wouldn't hurt your partner and or not cause unnecessary stress in a relationship. You just have to be considerate. It applies to any relationships, your friends, family, etc

Anonymous's picture

I always ask myself when I am being completely honest: Am I doing me a favour, him the favour or us a favour. Often I am just relieving my own guilt and he gets hurt so that I may sleep at night. The past is the past so leave it there.
As for sexual issues.... I believe that if there is a elephant in the room, it's there and there is no hiding it by not talking about it. My man loves to hear what I like and I usually start with that, if there is something I want him to work on.

Anonymous's picture

I agree with Anonymous writer. I am a very blunt woman, I am always open to learning and teaching new things when it comes to the bedroom, but let's be realistic there are plenty of men and women who suck in the sack. I think that it really all depends who you are and what your comfort levels are. Everyone is different, some unique and creative, others selfish, and some who just are inexperienced. My advice to people who are bored in the bedroom, speak your mind, but remember that we all have feelings and that faking orgasms or how much you like the sex when you don't only hurts you in the end and nothing changes. If you and your partner are in a healthy relationship then there shouldn't be a problem discussing what you like and what you don't like when it comes to sex.

Anonymous's picture

Never tell him something on his body is too big or too small.
We're more self conscience then you think.

Anonymous's picture

Okay, I just had to say something. My husband was lousy in bed right from the start. I kept hoping it would get better. I loved him so I tried, and tried and tried. I also believe you should be able to tell your partner anything. He was very competitive at sports so I couldn't understand why he didn't want to try harder with sex too. I finally lost interest, what the heck was the sense in getting all worked up - for what? He said his first wife was not interested in sex. Now I know why. I never strayed and I would never have left him because he had many other great qualities. He ended up leaving me and I am sure sex with his new partner is the same. But some women will put up with anything just to have a man and like I said in many other ways he was a good husband.

Anonymous's picture

Candice isn't lying, as that involves talking about it first and bringing it to light. She's saying to avoid the conversation, and you know which ones bug your partner specifically, and yourself as well

Anonymous's picture

You should be able to discuss these things. If you have to lie/hide things, you're not in a real relationship. Refusing to share things your partner keeps asking about is no good either.

Anonymous's picture

I think Candice isn't completely wrong. I don't think she was implying that people should be hurtful to their partners, or tell them things in an insulting way. But, if there are things that need to be worked on, in bed or anywhere else, it's best to talk about it. Otherwise, how will it get any better? Honesty IS the best policy, not being honest is a deathwish to your relationship. Clearly though, if you have common sense, you're not going to insult your partner's manhood or make them feel inadequate. If you show that you really want to make things better and more interesting in bed, then your partner should see that you care enough to want to improve the relationship.

Anonymous's picture

I find it so funny and ridiculous that many of these articles advise women to lie about the number of sexual partners they have had. It's actually hilarious how "loose" most American and Canadian girls are. These girls have absolutely no self pride since they are able to meet someone at a bar/club and then have a one night stand with them five minutes later. They do this every weekend though. Aren't you women scared of getting an STD or something? Why should you hide the fact that you have only slept with one or two men? I think it's sad!

Anonymous's picture

This article is 100% true. I don't want to hear any of that crap, and neither do any of the guys I know. The first one might not make any difference, depends on the dude, but combine any other two of these and you can kiss your relationship goodbye!

Anonymous's picture

I have to agree that honesty is the best policy. My husband knows everything, and is perfectly ok with it - even if it doesn't agree with his beliefs/lifestyle/moral choices. And I know all about him and his past. In fact, he's friends with my 2 most serious exes (who I introduced him to) We understand that our past experiences are part of what made us the people we fell in love with, and they happened before we knew each other, so what right do we have to condemn each other for any of it? Not to mention that we live our life confidently knowing that no matter where we are or who we are with, there will never be a time when someone says "did you know" or "remember when" that we will have to be concerned about what the other hears. A good relationship means that you can know everything about each other, and comfortably talk about it, as well as express your opinions, constructively. Relationships aren't about holding grudges, or throwing things in each others faces. Grow up people, this isn't high school. Learn how to communicate. Pasts often need to be exposed in order to make a relationship work, what about kids from former relationships, those exes have to be in your life on a regular basis! Again I say, grow up.

Anonymous's picture

Your man needs to listen to you. Not friends not family. You live with him. Do things together, Have fun and not be ashamed to show his feelings in front of people. You need to work together. say what ever to each other. Share together. have a good hug everyday. Have time for each other. NOT worth staying for if he can not think for himself. needs others. Time for you to go.One needs to breath and get out of a abusive relationship. Thats occult and red flags over daily years of hell. be a happy person and enjoy your life. I do and love it.just to get up and not be told who is comming for dinner is a wonderfull feeling. YES, I can tell myself what the hell my day will be like and what I,am doing. One needs to understand yourself. One needs to ask themselves what one wants. NOT being told. Two people need that contact with each other. Other wise walk away. Life is too short for people who are greed and hatefull and have to do what they are told to do. Be yourself. You will love your REAL life then.Wake up.

Anonymous's picture

One night my husband and I drink and he asked me que. about my ex. I told him things we did and wish I had never told him. Because now, every week he throws it in my face, says he's just picking at me. He says " I cant believe ya'll did that! " or "My God! You taught me some things! You had sex in public!" And one time he asked me to give details about our sex, and I did, and then, he said "youre on my shit list. You lied to me. You changed the story up." And I realized I didnt mean to lie, I had forgotten some of it, and then told him the truth.
But this is driving me crazy. If he doesnt stop bringing up my past, I may leave. It will kill me cause I love him so so much and we have a beautiful thing, but its hard to take this crap. How can I get him to stop it? If someone can help me, I would be forever grateful to you!!!
Thank you!!
Mary

Anonymous's picture

She's right. I told my ex about my sexual past and he freaked out. He didn't respect me and used it against me as often as he could. Men are competitive a**holes they don't wanna know that someone else had you before them. So ever since then, I may either avoid the question or lie about it because I KNOW that most men don't have the stomach to tolerate the truth. They will use it against me to hurt me. Sometimes, you just gotta lie. I feel extremely guilty about it but it's worth it, let's face it no one likes being called loose or worse names of all names. Never tell the guy the exact number, ever, I can say from experience.

Anonymous's picture

hmmmm...?
love you guy xo

Anonymous's picture

hmmm...?
love you guy xo

Anonymous's picture

Wake up and smell the coffee. If he is constantly lying to you. Cheating on you online because that is just interaction not physical. It fulfulls his emotional needs that he cant seem to get from you but does not ask for?? What century are we in????????????????????????????????????????????????Lives on teenage porn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous's picture

Try reading I Hate His/Her Ex by Alex Cooper - a book for anyone who needs help and advice dealing with their partner’s past relationship(s) - brilliant read! Available on Amazon or most bookstores - Kindle or paperback!

Anonymous's picture

Do you think online flirting and sending other girls text messages late at night cheating?? Please help me, I really don't know what to do.. Thnx in advance :)

Anonymous's picture

I told my boyfriend a secret about my past and how I used to be bullied but he wouldn't know that because puberty made me beautiful and he just moved here last year. But now he seems disinterested and I don't know what to do. He still tells me he loves me but I always feel like I'm annoying him...Please Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~Dana~

Anonymous's picture

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous's picture

YES !! Absolutely right. So sorry to see this kind of advice being given to women.

Anonymous's picture

One solution, Mary: Tell him he's the best ... and find a way to make certain it's true. Nothing else will ever satisfy him, and a husband has the fundamental right to be the best sex you ever had.

Anonymous's picture

I have to say that white ppl are the most insecure bunch, and all these rules are meant for ppl with all these insecurities. It's outrageous, and instead of protecting, actually teaches ppl to think for OTHERS, and some (I would think that all) don't want to have decisions being made for them.
If the guy asks the past, then he has chosen to face the fact he may not like the answers.
Women who hide information are slu*ty, that's why they have to hide the information. If they made quality selection, stayed consistent and true to themselves, and were truly honest to their bfs and to themselves, then they would have nothing to hide. Because they wouldn't have slept with 10 guys (quality women don't need to sleep with more than 5), wouldn't have posted up porn vids with 3 guys, give weekly bjs for hours with 3 others, cheated on 2, and just had plain sex with the rest, etc.
Guys want women who are HONEST. If your man can't have sex all day like your ex, that is something HE needs to face. If he asked it, then he needs to face he may not like what he hears. If you were a complete sl*t before and are ashamed of it, YOU SHOULD'VE THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE.
When we decide to marry you, we want to marry ALL of you, not just a part of you. There is nothing wrong with kinky sex with a loved one. So why can't you be honest about what you did or didn't do?? By conveniently leaving out information, you are practically lying. Kinda like..."oops I cheated on you"...
Let the MAN decide what he wants and who he wants to be with. It's YOUR own fault for being a sl*t in the past. If he accepts your past then great for you, if not, FIND SOMEONE ELSE. How would you feel if he was a playa before and conveniently decided not to tell you, even if he's absolutely changed his ways??
You must realize maybe he'll like the other side of you. Some guys do want a freaky girl, so again, STOP MAKING DECISIONS for him. E.g. You never know, maybe he never initiated public sex cause he wasn't into it, or maybe he thought you weren't. And now that it's out there, he'd be down for it.
This magazine sh*t being preached is the reason for so many relationship difficulties and complexities.
Just be honest, is that so hard??

Anonymous's picture

I thought this magazine was written by men - maybe you shld be writing

Anonymous's picture

It's appalling how many women casually lie about their sexual past "because he couldn't handle it". Well, lying is not giving him a fair chance to handle it, is it ? It's deciding that what YOU want is more important than what he needs, which is trust and a partner he can feel good about being with. Is that too much for a guy to ask ? Apparently, far too much. There is nothing less attractive than a woman who indulges herself sexually and then lies about it in order to lure a potential mate with a stricter set of values.
Inevitably, the lies are found out, usually after many more lies designed to hide the truth. By then all trust and respect is gone. These rationalizations to excuse dishonesty in a healthy relationship are self-serving and pathetic.

Anonymous's picture

I find this article very sad and hope that women and especially young girls do not take this advice and see it for what it is: pure garbage. I did exactly what they are suggesting to my boyfriend (now husband) and can tell you from personal experience that it was the worst mistake of my life.
Not only did I not take his feelings into consideration, but lost the chance at having what could have been the most rewarding and loving relationship of my life.
Everyone deserves total honesty and deserves to know who it is they've chosen to spend their life with. To lie in order to get "what you want" not only deprives your spouse the right to make an informed decision, but it also will wedge a huge rift in your relationship, one that may never mend. If you choose to take this advice, I hope your expectations at happiness are very low.

Anonymous's picture

Re: #1
Never tell your man, under any circumstances, how many sexual partners you've had ? Sure, what could possibly go wrong ? How about EVERYTHING. The unnecessary deceit which the author is sanctioning reflects a view based on her own past moral choices; one that is self-centred and dangerously short-sighted.
Condescendingly stroking his ego while side-stepping the question ? Oh, yes, he'll be satisfied with that. What ill-considered advice !

Anonymous's picture

this is the dumbest thing I've heard of. Honesty is most important in a relationship because that is what trust is built on. Its sad to see how many girls just give themselvevs away to whoever is passing by. If a guy can't handel the truth about you he is a wimp and you should find a real man. One who will actually work on a marriage. I am engaged to the only girl I have ever gone out with and she never went out with anyone before me. Guys who want to look at and sleep with every girl in sight and then want a virgin life partner are the biggest idots out there

Anonymous's picture

I agree men are stupid and weak. You are doing the right thing.

Anonymous's picture

I am a man here is my take
1. Terrible advice, if I ask a girl how many sexual partners she has had and she gives me a vague answer I assume the worst, in fact I assume that she probably had done some porn in her past and stripping. This is just human nature, when people give you vague answers to touchy questions, you assume the worst and it tends to be true. Ie. Hey baby did you sleep with that guy last night... your fantastic. O, well everythiing is all better now!!!, yea sure what world do you live in lady. i'd dump a girl like that because it shows a pattern of vague answering and decietfulness. If I am dating a girl I am suppose to be her closest friend yet she hides information from me, I call BS.
2. More terrible advice, this is like a guide on running a way a man. If I found out my GF was hiding information like that from me, it would only make me more suspicious of her. What is so bad that she must hide it. Its one thing to not volunteer actively hiding information is just pushing a man away.
3, Men can already tell who you are attracted, we watch you when you think we aren't, women have wondering eyes. Denying something we know to be true will only make us more suspicious of you, when you are in a situation that your credibility might matter. Ie. you go to my house and are eye humping my brother, but deny liking him. Then we go to a bar and some guy hits on you, but you shoot him down. We will not give you the benefit of the doubt, because you lied before (about my brother) why should I believe you now?
4. Never been in that situation but if I sucked i'd rather someone tell me so I could fix it then keep screwing up.
5. That you feel like you “settled” for him. Hopefully you would never mention this to your boyfriend or husband, but during a fight, you could be tempted to blurt this out. Don’t. Even if it’s not true, it will lead, eventually, to the disintegration of your relationship. And if it is true, maybe you need to think about finding someone you’re really into. But in the meantime, you don’t need to communicate this hurtful information. You’re better than that!
5. Well you have to watch the settle card. It can go both ways, he may think he settled for you, you may not be all that. And ime, women tend to rate themselves about 3-4 points higher than men do. It may be better you tell him you settled and just end the relationship there. No one wants to be in a relationship that is just "settlement". If you think you can do better, go find that dream man, but beware that your dream man probably has his pick of women and no interest in settling on YOU. When it comes to the dating game, men approach women 95% of the time. There is no guarantee a better man will ever approach you than the one you have, and he may not be interested in you.

Anonymous's picture

1. A real confident man does not ask about the sexual past of his new GF, cause instead of wasting time talking about what anyway won't change .. he will spend time making her feel why she is today so much better off than with any of the past dudes, no matter how many, who she will now know, she was right to dump, so she could meet you.
2. When the man is real, she won't bother telling him about her ex .. but eventually she will tell him she feels lucky to have found the one that topped them all by far. Watch out though .. young woman, don't say that if you don't mean it, cause the real man knows when she is not being honest. The real man will move on if that happens, for two reason 1) she is not appreciating him 2) he can't give her what she needs, regardless of the reason
3.The confident men does not care about such silly things ... it is very likely the confident men will have a confident father and or brother and friends. True, there is no need to say such things but if you do, you will know quickly if your man is a real man or a chicken with a fake fox fur
4. the confident man knows how to love a woman .. if despite that she has to make such comment, he will move on without making a blip ... no reason to waste time and love with someone who can't appreciate or someone who is out of his league, the confident man knows himself know his skills and knows his limits and sticks to what he does best. Note: the confident man won't have this kind of problem, if this happens anyway, it is a call for help, typically he will first ask her delicately to find out what is that she is really trying to say. If that goes no where, them yes, the confident man will move on to greener pastures;-)
5. does not happen to the confident man ... Now, here me out here .. not to the over confident man ... there is huge difference. A confident man has personality .. the overconfident is actually a scared chicken .. If the man is a real one, she won't even think about it, she will just meet him at a level of intimacy that does not leave time for purposeless talk

Anonymous's picture

this is the biggest bunch of garbage i've ever read. if you can't tell your man these things then why the heck are you with him. you should be able to tell your man anything and he should still love you no matter what and he should still love himself no matter what. if he has any brain in his head he'll take it as advice and not criticisim. you don't want to be stuck with a man that can't improve upon his sex life cause it's not just his sex life it's yours too!

Anonymous's picture

I wholly disagree with Candice. To deliberately hurt someone by showing them how insensitive you are with the sharing of these things...what more is there to say? I can only
say that abviously, Candice doesn't know much about men.
Vince

Anonymous's picture

Sounds like your man is crappy in the sack there candice. Article seems to have struck a nerve. lol

Anonymous's picture

I totally agree with this article. The past is the past in all aspects mentioned. If you have a loving, caring TRUSTING relationship..you are one lucky woman. Take it for what it is, nourish it and be happy....

Anonymous's picture

Um Candice, do you like to be told that your body could use some work, like a boob job? Or would you like ur man to talk about how good his ex was in bed? Somethings couples do not share for the sake of ruining a good thing.

Anonymous's picture

Seriously, you people think that lying and keeping things from your partners is the right way to go? No wonder the divorce rate is so high! Can't say anything about his sexual prowess? That just leads to women who fake orgasms then masturbate in the shower quietly and feel guilty. No wonder so many women are dissatisfied with their sex life!
The key isn't NOT talking about these things, it's HOW you talk about these things.

Anonymous's picture

I agree. A lie is not going to pay any favors in the future. If there is a problem, find a non hurtful way of bringing to the table to be discussed, worked on and hopefully improved.
My boyfriends marriage ended, (2 yrs before I met him) and he had slept with only two women since then. He told me up front there would be endurance issues. So I told him it shouldn't be a problem since I hadn't been with anyone for quite some time either. We don't have any ego related issues, so discussing it was easy. So was the cure. I slapped his behind and said, "lets go work on that endurance". Sex more often, leads to more pleasure, more often. Lies, when found out, only leads to the end of what could have been. Hurting someone, always blows up in your face.
<~A~>

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